Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Proposal


"Hello," he answered.

"Saan ka? Want to eat pizza?, " I asked over the phone.

"Pad na, naantok ako eh. Nagising lang ako dahil sa call mo," he answered.

"Ah ok, d bale, next time na lang," I responded as I drop the call.

Lagi na lang ganito, same scenario araw-araw. Almost fed up na ako sa ganitong situation. Lagi na lang ako gumagawa ng paraan para manumbalik whatever we had in the past. There were days where I was asking myself why I am still holding on if I'm not sure if there's something to hold on to. I got tired too. Parang ako na lang yata gumagawa ng move. Well sometimes he would text where I was or who I'm with but I answered back in an instant. Sometimes when I'm with a client, I would do my best so that I would be able to finished fast so I could be with him. Pero I don't see nor feel that he put some efforts on his side.

I was near our pad when I decided to go back to watch a movie by myself instead. Before I met him, I would dine by myself, watch movies by myself and even spend the day in solitude. And I'm ok with that. Siguro nasanay na lang ako na kasama siya lagi. It really feels good to be with someone you love eh. Iba kaysa you're by yourself lang.

Pero now, I think I need a little space for myself. Sabi nga sa kanta, "Everybody needs a little time away... Even lovers need a holiday, far away from each other." I'll give him his space too. Who knows, this might be what we actually needed.

While on queue I noticed that there were only two choices left for the last full show, I opted for The Proposal.

I decided to forget about everything and just try to watch and enjoy the movie. So that even for once I'll free myself from all these questions that have been lurking inside my head for weeks. Bugging me which makes me rethink my relationship with my partner or if meron pa ba talaga. I think I owe myself an escape so that even for the briefest moment alone I can be free of worries.

After the movie, I don't feel like going home just yet. Panandalian lang 'yung escape ko from reality. I went to the nearest cafe and blog-hopped. Replied to people who dropped messages, dropped messages in response to their blog entries, and then read more blogs.

Now I am in front of the computer. Trying to write something sensible but my mind refuse to cooperate. This is crap. I'm still bothered.

I think I should be going. Good night everyone. Have a nice and peceful one.

Xoxo

The Curious Cat

P.S. The photo belongs to http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/showbiz/images/attachement/jpg/site1/20090622/0023ae606f170ba96a0906.jpg

11 comments:

  1. Your entries lately is reminiscent of my entries last year. Huwag kang magtaka kung yung ibang entries ko na flashback eh reference sa mga entries mo.

    Hope you find out what you're looking for.

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  2. Yeah, why not talk to him. Para hindi nanghuhula kung ano na or something.

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  3. i agree that u should talk to ur partner BUT... with a twist. tell him that the both of u need to reassess the relationship u r having now. tell him that u r letting him go. tell him that this is better than to further the ill feelings u r having because of the way he is treating u. tell him that u love him so much u want his happiness. tell him that u want to make the separation in good faith rather than separate with a fight. tell him if u r indeed made for each other whatever happen ul still end up with each other. let him know, u r ready to face the truth.

    emo? yes. kung ok lang sa kanya, ibig sabihin wala na nga siyang pagmamahal sa iyo. and that is the time that u need to move on. u can not force anyone to love u, so let him go.

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  4. lahat naman napaguusapan eh. i think you and you're partner really need to talk to sort things out. ang hirap ng sitwasyon mo kasi you're stuck on guessing and speculating tapos evident na he just doesn't care. trip pretty much summed up what you need and can say. hope it all works out bro.

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  5. search in your heart, and he will tell you the right thing to do.

    as my friend always say: kung saan ka masaya doon ka.

    =D

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  6. ganun talaga. i believe almost all of us, gay or straight, had been through this. may times talaga na kahit gaano kagusto ng isa na magwork yung relationship, yung isa parang gusto na bumitaw. however, sana maayos nyo pa yan. take care! subaybayan ko ang mga magyayari.


    charmedwishes18.blogspot.com

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  7. my advise is different.

    don't talk to him. Let him feel what you feel. If he doesn't value your existence then loose yourself from his being. Move on. The next time he asks for companionship turn him down. Give him lesson. If he complained then explain your side.

    Sometimes the only way to make us better is the lesson floated up from our mistakes.

    Boost up your pride man. Wake up. He’s not the only person in this world.

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  8. mabuti ka pa, naisip mo yon. go girl!

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  9. Hmmm... This kind of situation is familiar. I'm gonna post my story and you can surely relate! Hehehe!

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  10. it's funny. i saw that movie with that exact same intention in mind. i wish i could say na go lang ng go... but i can't because i know it's not the best thing to do. just keep at it pero guard your heart. mahirap nang masaktan.

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