Wednesday, August 19, 2009
"Hello," he answered.
"Saan ka? Want to eat pizza?, " I asked over the phone.
"Pad na, naantok ako eh. Nagising lang ako dahil sa call mo," he answered.
"Ah ok, d bale, next time na lang," I responded as I drop the call.
Lagi na lang ganito, same scenario araw-araw. Almost fed up na ako sa ganitong situation. Lagi na lang ako gumagawa ng paraan para manumbalik whatever we had in the past. There were days where I was asking myself why I am still holding on if I'm not sure if there's something to hold on to. I got tired too. Parang ako na lang yata gumagawa ng move. Well sometimes he would text where I was or who I'm with but I answered back in an instant. Sometimes when I'm with a client, I would do my best so that I would be able to finished fast so I could be with him. Pero I don't see nor feel that he put some efforts on his side.
I was near our pad when I decided to go back to watch a movie by myself instead. Before I met him, I would dine by myself, watch movies by myself and even spend the day in solitude. And I'm ok with that. Siguro nasanay na lang ako na kasama siya lagi. It really feels good to be with someone you love eh. Iba kaysa you're by yourself lang.
Pero now, I think I need a little space for myself. Sabi nga sa kanta, "Everybody needs a little time away... Even lovers need a holiday, far away from each other." I'll give him his space too. Who knows, this might be what we actually needed.
While on queue I noticed that there were only two choices left for the last full show, I opted for The Proposal.
I decided to forget about everything and just try to watch and enjoy the movie. So that even for once I'll free myself from all these questions that have been lurking inside my head for weeks. Bugging me which makes me rethink my relationship with my partner or if meron pa ba talaga. I think I owe myself an escape so that even for the briefest moment alone I can be free of worries.
After the movie, I don't feel like going home just yet. Panandalian lang 'yung escape ko from reality. I went to the nearest cafe and blog-hopped. Replied to people who dropped messages, dropped messages in response to their blog entries, and then read more blogs.
Now I am in front of the computer. Trying to write something sensible but my mind refuse to cooperate. This is crap. I'm still bothered.
I think I should be going. Good night everyone. Have a nice and peceful one.
The Curious Cat
P.S. The photo belongs to http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/showbiz/images/attachement/jpg/site1/20090622/0023ae606f170ba96a0906.jpg