Tuesday, September 1, 2009


Recently, a lot of incident happened (which I might write on a separate entry) to me which results to clients lost. I can’t help being depressed because it’s not entirely my fault. I can’t stop my clients in looking for a replacement because they need the same services immediately which currently I can’t give them.

I am hurting because even my friends don’t seem to bother telling me first before they look for another replacement. Some of the themes and ideas were offered to me first and some ideas were even mine to begin with. Ano lang ba ‘yung sabihin muna sa akin, siyempre, I’ll let them because I can no longer do it for the mean time but the thing is, I don’t hear a thing from them. Nalalaman ko na lang from other people or nakikita ko na lang ‘yung results.

It’s been three weeks since the last time I was able to give my services to my clients. It’s depressing and nerve wracking even. It’s like you’re in one day the next day you’re out.

I am having a financial issue that’s why I can’t replace my computer to buy a new one (computer is needed for the post-production of material before presenting it to the client for final go). I might need to get something from my savings account to get a new one in order for me to get my clients back. Loyalty is not really treasured nowadays. Mapa-client man ito or lover.

Actually, yesterday I was about to buy a new one but when I tried contacting my clients to ask them how they’ve been, grabe no one, as in, one replied. I didn’t buy na lang kase na-depressed na naman ako.

Kanina, one of my friend send me an SMS informing me that they’re ok na daw with our common friend (whom she had a fight with over pride). That they will work on another project with another professional. Grabe, even her! The nerve. So much for friendship. Wala na talaga. I even texted our common friend informing him that I’m good to go na on Saturday but as expected, no reply from him.

I am about to quit. Pero napaisip ako na what I’m doing now is what I’ve been dreaming of when I was little and I am actually enjoying it so why give up now. Instead I’ll make projects for the meantime for myself. Maybe it will help me realize why I am doing it in the first place. It’s not really about the money or the fame. It’s about the recognition I get from other people. It’s about the criticism, both good and back as long as it’s constructive, that I received. It’s for the love of what I do. But then again, given the scenario, I can’t help feeling down.

By the way, yesterday, my partner accompanied me in shopping for new computer. After the search we decided to eat. While walking my partner signaled me to look ahead.

“Psst, may cute,” he told me while pointing at someone (by pouting his cherry red kissable lips, naks).

Siyempre I got excited ako kase alam ko taste ni partner. Sa kamamadali ko tingnan hindi ko namalayan na pababa na pala kami so natapilok ako. Nadapa ako at tuluyan sana masubsob pagmumukha ko sa kalye if I was not able to hold my partners arm.

Dahan dahan ko tinaas ang aking mukha para masulyapan pa din kung sino 'yung tinuturo nya. It turned out that person was actually looking at me. Nakasando at pawis (siguro galing sa pagwork-out kase galit pa mga muscles niya) kaya nanghina ulit mga tuhod ko. I blushed. Sobrang nahiya ako. Kase tago ka nga and then parang na obvious ka tuloy. So I stood up (with grace pa din) and try to brush off the dirt from my pants.

Napatingin ako one more time (the guy still looking at us) then started walking towards the resto na naka-akbay kay partner. Wala na lingon lingon this time.

“Grabe ka. Nadapa ka na nga’t lahat lahat tiningnan mo pa din,” my partner teased me after we get pass through the person he was pointing at awhile ago. “Landi mo kase,” he added.

“Oo nga, cute nga niya hehehe,” was all I could reply.

Sometimes when you're down and low, God will make a way to make you smile. Thank you God.


The Curious Cat

P.S. Image belongs to http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/image/s_handshake3.jpg


  1. o, di ba, parang miriam quiambao lang nang madapa. :)

    wag mo nang isipin ang mga nawalang client. it is nice to start all over again. with your experience and learnings, this time things will be different. as long as your heart is in it, you will succeed. kahit madapa ka man paminsan-minsan. :)

  2. na curious ako kung ano work mo, hehe.

    Friends come and go, but true friends stay even when theyre miles away.

  3. Ganoon talaga. In a cutthroat industry, loyalty is not really valued, but instead, its the survival of the fittest.

    What's so sad is that even your friends are turning their back from you.

    Glad you're doing great with your partner. At least, that's something to smile about. :)

  4. @Aris hahaha hindi naman pang miss-U ung pagkadapa ko kase sa kalye lang.

    'Yan na nga lang iniisip ko. Kaso pag-friends medyo maykirot.

  5. @Prince_cloud nako 'wag mo na lang alamin for now. mababasa mo din kung ano work ko dito sa blog ko sa mga susunod na entries.

    Oo nga. At least alam ko na where I stand diba.

  6. @Knox Galen tama ka diya pre. mahirap at hindi mo maiwasan pagpato mga kaibigan mo ay ganun din ang turing sa 'yo.

    Medyo ok ng konti pero grabe adjustment ang ginawa ko.

  7. tama ang ginawa mo sa bawat pagkakadapa dapat maging matatag at tumayo muli. magandang pakinggan na sa iyong pagkakasubasob may umaaakay na maiahon ka muli

  8. Nice to hear that you've patched things up with your partner.

    i wonder though what your line of work is.

  9. seems you're a freelancer... may kinalaman sa A/V presentation o media.

    anyway, yung partner mo, oki na kayo?

  10. @Engel medyo ganun pa din. major adjustment lang ginawa ko. mahirap pala magpalaki ng mas matanda sayo hehehe.

    Hahaha bigla yata interestado kayo sa work ko.

  11. @Jason oo freelance ako at sabihin na lang natin may konting kinalaman sa media.

    Hindi pa ganun ka ok pero I'm doing my part. Siguro siya din (sana).

  12. learn to find ways to smile even in the most depressing of times

    life is never fair

    but learn to face it with enough poise and grace that can put ada dela cruz into shame

  13. "“Grabe ka. Nadapa ka na nga’t lahat lahat tiningnan mo pa din,” my partner teased me after we get pass through the person he was pointing at awhile ago. “Landi mo kase,” he added."

    kakatuwa naman! haha ang sweet ng ganyang lokohan.

  14. @period oo tama ka. ganun naman talaga dapat kaysa magpakadepress ka na lang pag may mga negative nangyayari sa buhay natin.

  15. @Citybuoy oo nga minsan lang mangyari iyan.