Monday, November 9, 2009


Amazingly, I haven’t shed a tear (yet). I don’t know guys, am I in denial stage? Yep, I’m drinking again. Well, it’s not actually surprising because I am a heavy drinker (I can drink a whole bottle of tequila or vodka in one seating). Oh well.

Funny no hang over when I woke up, I love that new drink I just recently discovered.

I arrived at the office by 7:36 am and decided to stay at the balcony. I’m not sure how long I stared into nothing but it was broken when on of my boss suddenly spoke to me (she doesn’t usually smile nor talk to me when we bump into each other on the hallway).

“H’wag ka mag-alala, mahal ka nun,” she told me grinning as she moves closer to me.

I just smiled back.

Funny, no one in the office knows that I’m on a relationship. No one knows that my heart has been broken. How come she said those words? Does it shows on my face? Is it written all over my face?

I guess I forgot to smile; everyone in the office compliments me that I always smile and makes their day better. I guess, there’s nothing to smile about, that’s why. I can’t fake it. They’ll know it’s not genuine.

Oh well, maybe I’m still in shock. The days to come will be difficult, at least for me.

BTW, thanks for the chat pre.


The Curious Cat

P.S. Image courtesy of


  1. Ummmmm dahil ba manhid ka na o dahil tanggap mo na ang iyong napipintong kalayaan?

  2. maybe it's not worth your tears kaya walang luhang lumabas. don't force it. it doesn't mean that if ur not shedding a tear, u r not sad. dont worry, u'll get over it and move on fast. :)

  3. It just hits you when you least expect it. Holler if you need someone to talk to. ;)

  4. Could be shock.

    People who suffer injuries in sudden accidents don't feel anything - at first.

    Be strong, xtian. You have a bumpy ride ahead.

  5. kuya xtian, i wish i could be of help

  6. again, i have no words, but do know that if things get worse before it gets better, marami kami dito na pwede mong kausapin.

    cheer up. if things aren't okay, that just means it's not yet the end.

  7. i felt that one before as well. yun bang period of numbness. alam mo na ang nagyari, pero di ka makareact. tintry mo umiyak pero walang tama. nakatulala ka lang tapos para kang nakalutang, ganun yung feeling.

    in my case, after a couple of days, dun lang sumipa yung tama. dun lang bumuhos lahat. siguro, unconsciously, pinipigilan ko yung sarili kong maging affected nung separation. defense mechanism siguro. pero nung nagsink in na yung sadness, yung mga tanong sa utak ko, yung mga regrets, dun bigla bumuhos yung overwhelming feeling.

    i know that from this point forward, it's gonna be hard. breaking up is never easy. but pare, don't lose yourself. don't do anyhthing stupid. don't do anything that you'll regret later. let the feeling of sadness run its course. lahat naman eh lumilipas din. and in times like these, what i learned was that i didn't have to carry it all by myself. you could only carry the burden for so long. marami dito ang napagdaanan na or pinagdadaanan ang kung ano mang meron sayo ngayon. if you need to talk to someone, go, let it out. it really helps when you do that.

    take it easy. all the best bro.

  8. di ko alam kung ano ang mapapayo (nagbackread ako) pero sana kapag gagawa ka ng desisyon ay yung alam mong tama at hindi lang dahil sa bugso ng damdamin.

  9. we're all here for u if u need to talk and stuff. i can't imagine how hard this must be for u. kahit may mga times na i went through infidelity myself, everyone goes through it differently and no one comes out unchanged. i just hope u find your happy place soon.

  10. it's shock maybe and it really hasn't sunk in yet... hope you can skip that part though para hindi na masakit

  11. 'wag mong piliting umiyak. tutulo na lang bigla yan when you least expect it.

    hugs, xtian.