Friday, January 1, 2010
I’m still wide awake in front of the computer as my fingers gently touching the letters on the keyboard to write what’s on my mind this very moment. I can’t help but smile remembering hours ago our New Year celebration could have been a disaster if we didn’t suyo our mom after she made tampo to us because two of our brothers fought over a “plants vs zombies” game. It’s a good thing that my sister persuaded my two brothers to apologize to our mom for their stupidity. When my mom finally stood up and gave us each children a hug and kissed our cheeks to greet us a happy New Year we can’t help but return the favor. What a moment indeed.
My brother and sister started the fireworks while our kasamabahays prepared the table for our New Year feast. All of us then jump around the house hoping we would get taller lol. Then I opened up the Champaign for us to toss to a great year ahead of us. My two brothers were happily snapping pictures to freeze the moment.
What I remember most during that feast were the smiles each of us wear as if nothing bad happened to us. I’d like to think that we were all able to move on from dad’s leaving us before New Year a year ago. We finally accepted that he will no longer go back and that we all have our separate lives now, without him and him living his life without us. That we are what we have now: Mom, my brother and his wife and daughter, my sister, my two brothers, my aunt, my uncle, me and a couple of kasambahays.
We will try to protect and love more each one of us. We’d like not to think much on how my dad’s relatives keep on trying to bring us down ‘til nothing will be left to us. I know God will not let them succeed. I know God will protect and help us. It saddened me because I can’ fathom why they’re doing this to us when they already succeeded in manipulating our dad to leave us. Each of us will not let them hurt us once again.
As we celebrate the New Year to come, I can’t help but admire my mom. Her strength and courage to carry on for us her children is just remarkable. Instead of pitying herself she holds her ground and fought for herself, for us. That she was able to stand and sustain her spirit, she never did falter even once. Her love for us makes her even stronger and we get our courage to move on through her. She might have age a bit but she gained wisdom way ahead her age. I just can’t help but be proud of her, not just because she’s my mom, but also because she’s a survivor. I don’t know how she did it but she did and that’s a thing to celebrate.
You know what; I also admire my siblings for they were able to withstand the pain brought about my dad’s infidelity and abuses to my mom. It was hard for me but it was harder for them because they witnessed everything while I’m away fighting for my own survival in the metro. I just hope that they will not be traumatized by what they saw and experienced.
I’m glad I saw them all smiling again. At least I know they will be ok. I k now that they are also looking forward for a better tomorrow. Somehow, when I get back to Manila, I’ll be at ease to know that they are coping quite well. That they too have finally accepted our fate and be able to move on and forward. What awaits us in the future is yet to unfold before our eyes but we gained so much experience and lessons from last year that we will not succumb easily to whatever surprises life will throw at us. We also have proven that no matter what will happen we will be always there for ach other. I am happy to see them smile once again.
If anyone will be looking at me while I write this entry, they might think I’m a bit mad because I just can’t help but smile each time I put in words what my mind conceives. Well I really don’t care because I’m just relieving that moment I witnessed a while ago. Then again, who wouldn't smile and be happy when you know that you’re family is finally whole again. Family doesn’t have to be complete to be whole; you just have to know that you all love each other, know that you are love in return and that each and everyone will always be there for each other.
Life has its own way of teaching us some lessons. It is said that our fate is written in the stars long before we are born. That each of us is connected. These things might be true but I think it is still up to us to decide what to do, which path to take and take full responsibility of our actions. After all, it’s our life to live.
I wish you all happiness, contentment and love. Cheers to a New Year.
The Curious Cat
P.S. Image courtesy of http://cache.planetnatural.com/planetnatural/images/large/tomato_seedling_lg.jpg