Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Unsuccessful


I felt your warm body next to mine. Too close. I extended my arms and offered my embrace. You took my hand with yours and gently pressed it closer to your chest. You turned around and faced me. I open my eyes and smiled. You smiled back.

You were nibbling my already hardened nipple while your hard gently caressing me down there. I felt hard. I put my hand at your back, inside your shirt slowly and gently feeling your warmth as I took your shirt off.

Your tongue was slowly shifted from my nipple down to my fat tummy. Then you stopped as you pulled down my boxers to expose my manhood. You turned to look at me, smiled then I felt the warmth of your mount enveloping me. Up, down, up and down and back again. I moaned as you’re twisting your tongue, playing it nice, slow.

I held your head and slowly turned you around for me to see you entirely. The light coming from the transparent door was enough for me to see your beautiful face. I smiled. Then I reach for your right nipple and gently run my fingers on it as I begun to play the other one with my tongue. You moaned. I continued kissing and nibbling as I gently massaging the other.

I put my head next to your ear while I embrace you with my left hand. My feet took care of taking off your pants all the way. We’re both naked now.

“Ready ka na?,” I asked.

He wrapped his legs on my hips to say yes.

“Safe ka ba?,” I asked again.

“Siguro, hindi ako sure. It’s been six months. Kaw ba?,” he returned the question.

“Oo, sure ka ba?,” I inquired.

“Gusto ko kase wala para mas mararamdaman kita,” he answered.

I smiled. I started playing my tongue with his ears. He moaned hard. He tightened his legs on my hips. I slowly run my tongue down to his neck, slowly, zigzagging it’s way up and down. He moaned harder this time then embraced me harder.

“Stop,” he said.

---

We we’re still naked next to each other. My left arm holding his right. Both starring into the ceiling and beyond.

“I’m sorry,” I apologized.

“Bakit ganun na lang lagi. Last time ganun din. Mataba ba ako? Pangit ba ako?,” he asked.

“No you’re not. You know that,” I answered.

He turned to his left. I turned to him and hugged him tight.

“Ang tigas tigas mo kanina, bakit biglang nawala?,” he asked.

“Kala ko ayaw mo na. Sabi mo ‘stop’ kaya tinigil ko,” I answered.

“Nakikiliti na ako. Hindi ko na kase kaya,” he said. “Ganun din lagi ah. Six months pa naman na hinintay ko 'to para sa 'yo. Ayaw mo ba sa akin?,” he continued.

“Alam mo hindi totoo ‘yan. Hindi ko din ma-explain eh. Actually dalawa kayo. Hindi ko alam bakit pagdating sa inyo hindi ko magawa,” I tried to explain myself.

“Xtian naiinitan na ako,” he answered then stood up, put on his clothes and headed straight to the other bed adjacent to mine.

That night I was not able to sleep. So I put on my clothes and wrapped myself with the warm blanket and faced the wall so I could not see him on the other bed.

It was already morning and the sun is up when I noticed him lounged next to me and hugged me. He started kissing my neck and he was rough. It was the first time I saw him like that. He grabbed me by my crotch and pulled my boxers down. I felt excited and hard. So hard. Then he sat unto me and started to thrust me into him. He was moving fast.

“Knock knock knock.”

Someone’s knocking on our door. So we hurriedly put on our clothes. I wrapped myself with blanket and pretend I was sleeping while he opened the door as if nothing happened.

“Good morning!,” shouted Mickey*. “Uy tulog pa tong isang to? Malalate na tayo ah. Alas otso na,” Mickey added as he put the bread to our table.

I pretended that I was awaken by his voice and stretched before I stood up.

“May tinapay, mango jam at cheese dito Xtian. Kumain na kayo at late na tayo,” Mickey repeated.

“Kumain ka na para maka-alis na tayo,” Dan* added pretending too that nothing happened between us.

---

Ewan ko hindi ko din ma-explain talaga bakit pagdating kay Dan bigla na lang nawawalan ako ng gana in the middle ng encounter. He looks good and sobrang bait pa. Ideal nga siya na maging partner eh. We used to date 5 years ago pero naging complicated yung situation naming kaya we didn’t end up together.

It took us years to be in speeking terms with each other kase I choose to go away. It took a letter from him for me to finally agree to meet up with him again. Siguro kase nagttxt siya na magsex daw kami ulit which I can no longer do kase I already have someone else with me.

The first time we did it, hindi successful kase virgin pa siya at sobrang sakit daw. The second time when I bid him goodbye. Then the last yung na kwento ko sa taas. Siguro we’re not meant to be lovers, hanggang friends lang siguro kami. Kase lagi naman hindi natutuloy.

I really don’t know. Bahala na. I’m sure hindi naman siya mawawala sa akin kase mahal naman ako ng taong ‘yun and I feel something for him din naman hindi nga lang ako sure kung ano ‘yun pero I do.

Xoxo

The Curious Cat

*Not real names to hide true identities of the people involved.
P.S. Image courtesy of http://www.canadiannetmall.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/Resolved.jpg

14 comments:

  1. Ang hirap i-dissect ng feelings minsan no? Hindi mo alam which is true and which are just pretensions.

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  2. i guess it means that something's not right. so much so that even your birdie felt it.

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  3. attachment but not love?
    i digress, ang-galing ng comment ni maxwell. clap clap!

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  4. Ohhh... Ito pala yung buong kwento.

    Hhhmm... Bakit ganon... Siya...

    Ay, basta!

    KAMPAI!

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  5. akala ko kung sino yun nasa kwento. iba pala. =)

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  6. its either its not meant to happen or its worth the wait...

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  7. @Galen well minsan oo lalo na siguro pag may pinagdadaanan ka na medyo kakaiba sa regular na takbo ng buhay mo

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  8. @Maxwell haha siguro Max, pero hindi ko din maisip kung ano e

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  9. @m2mtripper haha kaw talaga, magagalit si jun jun mo niyan

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  10. @engel ano ba sa akala mo engel hehe

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  11. @Ewik siguro nga, come what may na lang

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  12. i agree with max. the bird is a barometer for hidden feelings. perhaps you're better off as friends.

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