Monday, January 11, 2010

Shattered



It was Monday night and I was hanging out with my two friends. I had no plans on getting drunk because I still have a flight to catch the next day back to Manila. I am actually just planning to drink 2 to 3 beers that night.

Earlier I had a long day getting my renewed driver's license. Dan* called up to inform me that Seth* wanted to meet us before I went back to Manila. We'll be meeting up in Gaisano Mall at 8pm. Since it was still early I decided to go back to our apartment to take a bath before going to the mall. I invited my sister and her best friend to have dinner with me first at Gaisano Mall before meeting Dan and Seth.

While dinning the Port café, Dan texted me asking me where I am, I informed where I am and that I am with my sister and her friend. He came and we ushered my sister and her friend to the cinema. Right before they entered the cinema Seth arrived, Dan already informed him where we were.

Seth told us that he's hungry so we decided to dine at From Dust 'til Dawn in Torres St. Each of us ordered native chicken barbecue and only Seth ordered rice. We transferred location later to drink some beer and have a look at some locals who frequent the place.

By 9:17:54 pm I received a text message. Another miss sent. It says:

"beybi… …muah..labyue" (I deleted some text because it's too personal)

I can't believe it. It happened again after he denied it when we had our confrontation. Unlike before, he texted back informing that it was his cousin, later when I did not replied he said that it was her friend now. He even sent me text messages trying to be his cousin and friend. Who on earth would believe him this time when he can't even give a good alibi or him being inconsistent. I did not replied him ever since.

I can no longer take it so I shared it with Dan (who already know about my situation, I already told him a couple of days back in Manila) and Seth. From ordinary drinking session, the night turned out to be a drinking spree for all of us, even Dan who doesn't drink that much at all. I told them that I was excited to go back to Manila to see him but I'm no longer sure this time. I also informed two of my blogger friends through text and they empathized with me. I even texted our friend from the Middle East informing him that Dan, Seth and I were together drinking, he called me but I was not able to answer his call so he called Dan instead.

By 3:45am we decided to go to a birthday party. It was Seth's friend. Upon arriving I was quite shock to find out that one of the person there come from the school I graduated with the same course only a year lower my batch. He knows me and I know him but both of us have no idea that we have this "double" life. We acted as if we didn't know each other and just shake our hand when introduced.

I was also shocked how people were so open in that party considering that we occupied a space in the street that people come and go. That some were kissing. I even witnessed Seth kissing my schoolmate many times. I guess I am not yet ready to that kind of life. I guess Ternie is right after all, I am conservative. I just can't imagine them kissing in from of many people in a very open and public place.

My schoolmate is a hunk while Seth is a heartthrob. Both have the looks to wader. Imagine how many girls will cry if they found out that this two guys were kissing each other while they (girls) wanted just to even hold my schoolmate and Seth's hands. I wonder if my batch mates and his batch mates knew anything about it. I guess no.

By 5am, I called it a night, I should have eaten breakfast and lunch earlier because right now I see them all doubled up. I also have a plane to catch later. Dan also decided to go home as well. We bid them good night while Seth helps us held a cab. I went home with a heavy heart that night not knowing what to expect when I arrived Manila. No matter how many liters and gallons I drank that night, no amount of alcohol could take away the pain I felt that night.

They see me as I strong person, but I am only a great actor, a great pretended trying to be strong. But deep down inside I'm shattered like Emma Frost did when shot by one of her doppelgangers. I wish I had my Jean Grey to put the many shattered pieces of me back into whole again.

Goodbye Davao, Hello Manila.

Xoxo

The Curious Cat

*Not actual names to protect the identities of persons involved.
P.S. Image courtesy of http://www.tintworks.net/Shattered%20glass.jpg

15 comments:

  1. i'm still wishing you figure things out.
    and i love davao! :)

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  2. in a world of make believe is it possible you are the only real?

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  3. fuck, parang nananadya lang. why'd he continue missending those text messages.

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  4. i agree with daredevilry... it already seems intentional

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  5. The Afterburner sums up all my pent-up feelings when I was in your situation before.

    You will earn your freedom.

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  6. there must be something wrong with your partner. it's annoying that he keeps on doing that after what you two talked about. and i agree, i think it's a bit intentional.

    well, i can tell that it's starting to get into your nerves and that your sense of judgement is getting clearer.

    i hope you figure things out soon. :)

    btw, i like the xmen references.

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  7. i think you and your partner need some serious talking. this has already happened to you several times.

    i'm hoping though that things will work out in your favor.

    btw, it's good to know that you're from davao pala :)

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  8. You ain't deserve this.

    Malapit na Feb... I inom natin yan!

    Kampai!

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  9. seriously. break up with him. you're just making things worse for yourself.

    i know you love him, and it's gonna hurt. but i think that's the right thing to do. think about yourself muna.

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  10. i guess it's tio move on with life

    leave him bheind

    just like all the worries you have

    hindi siya magiging kawalan

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  11. it's a phase...just another phase...be well.

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  12. "They see me as I strong person, but I am only a great actor, a great pretender trying to be strong. But deep down inside I'm shattered"

    i know how this feels. although mine is on a pretty minor level, i guess the feeling is still universal for all people.

    i'm glad to hear you can still find simple joys despite what's happening. i hope you get the wisdom to make the right decisions. i won't be as brave as engel to say please break up with him but you get my drift. :D

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