Monday, October 25, 2010

Betamax

One summer vacation (when we were little), our parents went to some faraway place and won’t be back in three days. The house was completely in our care. Being the kuya I would do the cooking, laundry and house cleaning while my little brother would get the sinampay from the sampayan, wash the dishes and sweep the floor. Then we would either watch tv or play all day.

On the third day, we got so bored that we decided to get our parents’ porn tape and watch it while they’re still away. We set the betamax player and rewinds the tape with our dad’s do-it-yourself wooden tape rewinder.

I pressed the play button and everything went well at first. I remember it all too clearly how our eyes were glued on the tv screen as we see the couple doing there thing to our delight.

Suddenly the pumping stopped and the scene went completely frozen. The player seemed not to be functioning as expected. So I asked my brother to check it out but he declined, “’Yoko nga, ‘kaw na ang tumingin nyan. It was your idea after all.”

I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Fuming with anger, I checked the betamax player myself. I pressed the stop button then the eject button but nothing happened. “Oh Lord,” I told myself. I started to panicked and I didn’t know what to do.

The cartridge was completely stuck inside the player.

“I-open ba natin?,” I asked my brother.

“Hala ka kuya, sinira mo ‘yang betamax. Pauwi na sila mama papaluin ka nyan pagnalaman ‘yan,” my little brother was scarring me and I couldn’t believe it. How he could do this to me. “Bold pa pinanood mo,” he added.

“Gago ka pala eh, nanood ka din naman ah. Nagustuhan mo naman pinapanood ah,” I shouted. I didn’t know what to do first. I have no idea how to fix it.

Then my brother left me and went outside.

“How could he leave me there by myself,” I ask myself. That bastard, “Makuha ko lang ‘tong tape patay ka sa akin pagna-abutan kita,” I shouted hoping he could hear me.

Then I went to the kitchen and looked for a knife that would fit the screw. I unplugged the tv and the betamax player from the power cord and opened the player so I could take the tape out. It was caught between some tiny things inside the player so I carefully remove it by hand. Then screwed the player back and rewind the tape.

I have no idea how I am able to act so quickly that time but I was panicking so I guess my instincts made me do it.

After a few moments, my brother went back with a couple of screw drivers he borrowed from our neighbors. He handed the drivers to me and I smacked his head with it and told him everything has been taken care of.

Then we laugh. We were laughing on my behalf. Thanks for panicking. I was so scared that my parents would find us out watching porn. I was sweating profusely.

From that day on, I told myself not to watch porn with my brother anymore. Ever. And I live happily ever after.
Xoxo

The Curious Cat
P.S. Image courtesy of http://www.damienriley.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/photo_vcr_betamax.jpg

7 comments:

  1. this is so cute!

    nakaka-relate ako with the smacking. ako ang recipient. ouch! hihi

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  2. nakaka-stress ito, ang muntik-muntikang mahuli na may ginagawang kalokohan. haha! buti na lang nagawan mo ng paraan. :)

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  3. I once had an M2M VHS tape hopelessly stuck in my player. I could've unscrewed the machine and literally cut the entangled tape out, but I didn't want to ruin it because it was one of my favorites.

    So I brought the player to the repair shop - stuck M2M porn tape and all.

    When it was time to retrieve my stuff, the repair guy gave me an interesting look. Then he eventually said "Ibang klase yung bala sa loob, ah, ser."

    I looked at him then smiled, before saying "I hope you enjoyed it, too."

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  4. Your entry reminded me of the days when I used to watch my dad's porn in our VHS player (and praying that the tape won't get stuck inside the player.

    Nice entry :)

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  5. ang tanong straight porn ba yung tape ng daddy mo?

    echoz... nangugulo nanaman, sembreak na eh hahahaha

    miss you!

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  6. this is too cute! parang screwed up fairy tale. akala ko pa naman mala star crossed lovers yung ending. joke!

    yeah, tama si jeff. we all miss u. magpakita ka na kasi.

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  7. @Nimmy hahahaha buti nga, loko lang
    @Aris oo nga eh, instinct ko na yata yung cleaning up my own mess
    @Rudie hahahaha I can only imagine yung naging reaction nya. nice one Rudie
    @Joms I guess we all that tendency na mangingi-alam ng gamit ng parents natin esp ko porn hahahaha
    @Yj oo naman hahahaha
    @Nyl hahahaha kaw talaga Nyl.

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